Tuesday 18 March 2014

Natalie

Natalie was eight months when it first.happened. my baby was crying one minute the next she was blue, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, she stopped breathing, then lost consciousness and once she was out she started breathing. The next 30 seconds were the longest of my life and I'll never forget the feeling of terror I felt sitting on the floor waiting for my baby to come too. She finally opened her eyes and was groggy and lethargic for the next hour or so and then had a nap. When she awoke from the nap she was back to her spunky little self. The next time it happened she was in her car seat and I was getting into the van, something must have startled her and I heard a gasp and Joe shouted that she was blue. I then opened her door and she had just started breathing again. I felt helpless there was no reason I could see why she was doing this.

   We took her to the hospital and we're blessed by being able to see our own dr. She was definitely concerned.  They ran tests and all they could see was that Natalies blood oxygen was a little low (right where I'd should have been from just passing out) after consulting with a pediatrician the doctor diagnosed her with Breath holding syndrome.  We have done our research and have changed our displine techniques based on Natalies needs. Between the 8 month old and now (23 months) she has at least one a day and up to 5 spells sone days we get super luck and have none but those are rare. 

     Basically what happens is she is not capable to control her emotions and once she is set off (as we call it) it's very rare we can bring her out if it. It's been happening so often that I can tell by her cry and emotional state if it will happen and I can protect her body the best I can. As a mother I can not give in to her every will and want and I can not let her use this to manipulate us into giving her what she wants. She is a little young for this but it can and has happened to other families and then we would have a big mess on our hands.

     We have been through a little bit medically as parents and I believe we are not over reacting. These episodes are scary and to an on looker can look like a seizure.  In Natalies case she was too young when they started, most children start when they are 2 or so and can continue to the age of 6.  We are going through further testing due to her age when she started and the frequency of the spells.  Also with our family heart issues they are looking at her heart more thoroughly.

Thanks for listening and please pray that we will have peace during the testing and that the doctors will have knowledge and help us get through this.

Thursday 13 March 2014

Enjoyment

It's been so long since I have had so much enjoyment in my life. I'm not saying I haven't had enjoyment but lately I've noticed so much and I have been having so much fun. This past weekend I spent with some close friends and we had a blast visiting, and creating.  It was like I was 16 and at a slumber party the entire weekend. We spent the weekend at a scrap booking retreat and while pumping page after page out we laughed till we cried and talked about everything and everything. We decided a few weeks ago that we would sleep in one of the girls trailers (praying the weather would cooperate) we stayed up late scrapping and then up even later talking while falling asleep.
     There's something about who you surround yourself with that affects who you are. I have been having so much fun these past few months and I credit to who I've been spending my time with. I have also noticed a shift in my kids. They fight less, they are more respectful and happy. I've also mimicked myself taking in the little moments. Helping a friend with a birthday cake, going through the car wash with the kids or just noticing the smile on a 2 year olds fave as she jumps in a puddle for the first time.

      Having also taken a lesson from a huge Disney movie at the moment I have learned to let things go. I've been struggling with a few things this past year and have learned recently that I need to let it go and embrace the here and now, embrace me and the other people I enjoy being around. Letting the dark cloud follow you around will make you feel like a certain blue donkey. I'm done feeling like that and am going to embrace the light and the love, let it go and move on.